Mother of the year??? Not!

Today my eldest, Tansy is finishing her homeschooling early. We have a group of kids coming at noon to eat lunch and play. Becket my 7 year old stayed up late last night to work and finished early this morning as well. Tansy has been busy chatting as she is working. She told me about one of her teachers at a class she takes. Her teacher is out this week having surgery. Tansy casually tells me that they removed a tumor from her side, but she didn't wake up, they ended up finding a tumor in her brain as well and removed it. She said it's in the part that will affect her memory. This teacher also has a daughter that attends the same classes as Tansy. I asked Tansy if she knew how serious this is. She says she does. I encouraged her to pray for this teacher and especially for her daughter. I informed her that this teacher could be out permanently or possibly even die from this. (worst case senario) I washed dishes as she worked and I contemplated the plight of this teacher and mom. My heart is saddened for her.
Tansy then continues to tell me of an art project she is working on, it has the words "Tansy, peace, Mom" on it. I looked at her and said, "You really love your mommy don't you?" She smiled shyly, I continued, "No, you REALLY love your mommy. I can tell" Then we just went on to our duties. I keep thinking this is a different mommy she loves, but it's me! I am so very unworthy of her love and adoration. I can barely return it at times. Yet she continues to love me so unconditionally and fully. She is the oldest and therefore the experiment in parenting. Sometimes I feel it's one experiment I have botched. I have so much to repent of and continue to be stubborn and unchanging. This other mom is lying in a hospital bed sedated as she heals and if she were to die this week, her time of "repenting" would be over. I am so ready to leave
this earthly realm but Glory to God I am still here suffering with the minute to minute opportunity for repentance. I know I will never be eligible for the mother of the year award nor would I want it, but right now I have the chance to be mother of the moment. I think I'll get back to my work now and thank God that he continues to bring to my mind sins that need to repented of. Lord Jesus Christ Son of God Have Mercy on Me a Sinner! Have mercy on Mrs. Palmer as well.