Will time heal the memories?

I asked my husband the other day when will the memories of PPD be so distant I can barely remember it. He replied, "hopefully never" He reasoned that as long as I remember the pain I will be empathetic to others and grateful for my own journey. While this is true, I still think about my life before PPD, when I was so naively blissful. When I could have a heart palpitation and enjoy the rush of the beating instead of wondering if it's finally a heart attack. Or when I could drive to the doctors without wondering if I'm going to freak myself out with a panic attack. I'm going on 3 years post partum now, and actually feel better than I have in years, both physically and emotionally. I still take Zoloft and will continue for the time being. I'm thankful for the medication as it helps me to keep a level head (no pun intended) about the real issues going on. I know that my chest pains are due to drinking coffee and not from stress. If I feel sad, it's probably because I'm either bored or I'm pms-ing, not from being depressed. I feel very free and alive and I still believe that it's because of my experience with Andrews birth. We are heading back to the coast this year, the same place I went when I was suffering from PPD. I don't remember that trip very well. I was a little hesitant about going there, I didn't want to associate it with being sick. But I'm far enough away from the illness that I am ready to re-claim what was taken away from me. So I'll go and make new memories at the beach with my family. I'd say I'm a happier mom today with more energy and contentment. This will be Andrew's first birthday that will be really celebrated by me. His first b-day cake was made by his Godmother, if not for her there would have been no celebration at all. His second birthday was held at his Godparents house complete with decorations, balloons and celebration-and I was so thankful for them coming to bat while I was still in the "outfield". So this year I am decorating and blowing up balloons and filling a pinata and making his cake. This year I'm celebrating more then just birthdays I think. This year I'm celebrating God's Grace and my mental well being.